This has happened often when I hear moms who have only male child or children very gaily pine over the fact that they so much wanted to mother a daughter. Oxymoron it is! No, not the fact that they long for the opposite gender, but oxymoron in their pining gaily! Indeed, the facts prove that their family has always had a great desire for a male child, which is also evident in the acts of the parents. Whatever be the reason, whether they feel the older generation in the family will be satisfied with a male offspring or whether they silently themselves feel that their son would light the fire in their funeral and bid them adieu to their heavenly abodes, which I believe is a myth! They know it very well that growing old and living with their son's family would not be feasible with the changing times. They're quite well aware of how much they live with their in laws!
Then why this pining! And why this constant comparison of their son's progress with the other's daughter's? Why this constant yearning that girls have such chromatic dresses and embellishments? For a mother's love which is so divine and unconditional, should the gender be a bias? If any of these moms have this latent thought that the mothers who have daughters appreciate their so called love for girls which is dying to ooze out but lacks opportunity, they be very respectfully told that's not the case. My experience has gone to the extreme when recently I heard a Mom of two sons say that how she wished God could have given her one daughter and me one son instead of two daughters!! My impulsive reaction was to punch her hard on the face! But my upbringing got the best of me. Why on earth did this lady ever imagine I would be happy to hear her loose statement. Then there was this other mom who said that two daughters are far better than having two sons. My simple question is why, why at all should one go in for a second child with any gender prejudice!
There had been umpteen times when I was ear to such nonsensical talks. When my second child was still inside me, yet to be born, mothers would ask or comment, "must be wishing for a son this time, you already have a daughter!". My answer had always been the same, "I wish for a healthy baby with a healthy mother. There's no gender bias." This was not a statement which just meant them to keep shut. Indeed, this was what we, my spouse and I firmly believed. Our decision to parent a second child was very carefully considered. We wanted to bring another love of our lives into this lovely world and share our love equally between our loves. There was no gender bias for all we wished was a hale and hearty baby with a healthy mother to mother it. Apparently we had chosen two names one male and one female for the born to be.
Besides this group of parents around me, I am fortunate also to have a group of such mothers who have never gaily mourned over the fact that they have sons but no daughters. They're raising their children as humans not as males or females. And how well groomed are they at such a toddler age! My friends have very well mannered sons who run, play, sing, dance, colour, decorate, recite, obey and discover constantly as a child. Believe me, it's not in the child's mind at all that he or she belongs to a particular gender group until the parents sow the seeds. Humanity is so pure, unsullied, untarnished in children. It's only parents who tend to rot it. The child is the best teacher!
